And now, with out further ado, the Battle Tech Munchkin List...

1) Favorite Mech

Real Men pilot Marauders
Roleplayers pilot Griffins
Loonies pilot Locusts with paintballs loaded for the MG'S
Munchkins pilot Daishi-X's with Triple Heat Sinks, Jumpjets,
                6 LPLs and TC.

2) Favorite Mech Weapon

Real Men use ER-PPC'S
Roleplayers use LB-X10AC's with Cluster
Loonies use Smoke SRM's
Munchkins use ER Pulse Compact XL PPCs, with built in TC.

3) Favorite Ground Vehicle

Real Men drive Demolisher IV's
Roleplayers drive refitted Saladins
Loonies drive Cooler Trucks loaded with 9 tons of Hagen-Daaz
Munchkins drive Overlord Dropships

4) Favorite Personal firearm

Real Men use Gyro-Slug rifles;
Roleplayers use Hold-Out pulse laser pistols
Loonies use Super Soakers
Munchkins use de-mounted Mech large pulse lasers

4a) Favorite Personal melee weapon

Real Men use Vibro-blades
Roleplayers use Stun Sticks
Loonies use rubber chickens
Munchkins use Mechs

5) Favorite Faction

Real Men play DCMS Elites
Roleplayers play Rhonda's Irregulars
Loonies play Word Of Bob
Munchkins form their own Clan (Clan Doom Munchkin)

7) Favorite piece of equipment

Real take Flak Suits
Roleplayers take sticky gloves
Loonies take vibra-bombs loaded with confetti
Munchkins take Improved Elemental Armor with move 5/5, 50 points of
               armor, and a Mech ER-PPC

8) Favorite Archetype

Real men take Veteran Mechwarrior
Roleplayers take Medics, Aero-Space pilots, or Technical Wizard
Loonies take Janitor
Munchkins take Blood Named Clan Il-Khan

9) Favorite Skill

Real choose Piloting Mech
Roleplayers choose Technician
Loonies choose Natural Aptitude - Swimming
Munchkins choose Natural Aptitude Gunnery with a 6 Dex

10) Favorite Non-combat Skill

Real Men use Gambling
Roleplayers use Land-Management
Loonies use Seduction (with a 1 charisma)
Munchkins use Natural-Aptitude Whining

11) Favorite Non-combat Activity

Real Men repair and customize their mechs
Roleplayers sneak into the secret Com-Star facility and
            steal new weapons designs
Loonies paint targets on their mechs
Munchkins have their characters go to Virtual World

12) Favorite Drink

Real Men drink Timbiqui Dark
Roleplayers drink Aldeberan Fizzes
Loonies drink Lighter Fluid
Munchkins drink Stim-Packs / whatever gives them plusses /
                water (they are all under age, you know)

18) Favorite Combat Phrase:
 
Real Men say "Come Get Some, Asswipe!"
Roleplayers say "OK lads, as we practiced it...."
Loonies say "I'll run up in front of the Atlas in my Locust and
             punch it."
Munchkins say "What do you mean I missed?  I have NA Gunnery with a
                 base skill roll of -6!  I can't miss!"

19) Favorite Mech paint scheme
Real Men paint their mech in house colors, decorated with skulls,
               lightning bolts, kill markers, etc.
Roleplayers paint the mechs in Camo patterns so good you can't find
                  the minis on the geo-hexes.
Loonies paint their mechs in international orange and
                             florescent green paisley.
Munchkins paint their mechs with special "invisible paint" that makes
                      the mech completely invisible.

20) Favorite dying words
Real Men say "Eat fusion plasma Clan slime!" as they intentionally
              stackpole their dying mechs.
Roleplayers say "C'est la Guerre!" and salute their opponents.
Loonies say "Thank you sir, may I have another?"
Munchkins say "Damn! I'll have to get another clone out of storage."

21) Favorite terrain
Real men prefer to fight in open rolling hills, with a few trees to
                         block LOS.
Roleplayers prefer to fight in burning, half-bombed out cities.
Loonies prefer to fight inside the containment buildings of operating
               nuclear powerplants.
Munchkins prefer to fight in completely open, flat terrain, where
                 they have heavily mined all aproaches to their
                 position.

22) Favorite planet to invade
Real Men like to invade Wotan.
Roleplayers like to invade Luthien.
Loonies like to invade Luna, of course!
Munchkins like to invade the Clan homeworlds all at once, and win.

23) Favorite non-battletech activity
Real Men pump iron.
Roleplayers read Sun-Tzu's "The Art of War" in the original chinese.
Loonies perfect their Marx brothers impersonations.
Munchkins go over the text of the "Battletech Compendium" with their
          family lawyers, looking for loopholes.

24) Favorite roleplaying game other than Battletech/Mechwarrior
Real Men play Twilight 2000
Roleplayers play Paranoia
Loonies play TOON
Munchkins play D&D - only they get to start their characters at
               30th level.

25) Favorite Boardgame other than Btech
Real Men play Squad Leader
Roleplayers play Diplomacy
Loonies play Awful Green Things From Outer Space
Munchkins play Star Fleet Rules Wars ... err... Star Fleet Battles,
               and own every single expansion set and addendum -
               as well as having them memorized.

26) Favorite Computer Game
Real Men play Duke Nukem 3D on "Damn I'm Good" with Respawn, and never
              bother with any of the weapons other than the pistol.
Roleplayers play "Myst", and don't own the cheat book.
Loonies play "Pac Man", without looking at the screen.
Munchkins play "MechWarrior", and have all the cheat codes programmed
               into their gravis gamepads.

-Icaza
yankee@onr.com